Interviewer: Mr. McCain, what is the gravest long-term threat facing our economy?
McCain: Its Radical Islamic Extremism, Stupid
Well this wasn't the precise quote... but it sums it quite well. To quote then in the spirit of completeness:
"the absolute gravest threat is the struggle that we're in against radical Islamic extremism, which can affect, if they prevail, our very existence. Another successful attack on the United States of America could have devastating consequences." [Read about this and more at "Perils of Honesty in Politics"-LA Times]
We already know that McCain and team are secretly hoping for another terrorist attack occur in USA. If we needed a reminder, then it happened in the Freudian slip by McCain's senior adviser, Charlie Black, who after agreeing that Benazir's assassination probably helped McCain capture the Republican candidacy (proud moment for Pakistan; Pakistanis can actually affect US politics, boohoo... payback?):
As would, Black concedes with startling candor after we raise the issue, another terrorist attack on U.S. soil. "Certainly it would be a big advantage to him," [Fortune]
So, I was wondering what more can McCain blame Radical Islamists, Islamic Radicals, Extremist Radical Islamists, Radical Extremist Islamists, Islamic terrorists, or as favored by McCain, "Radical Islamic Extremists". The following are few more things that McCain can blame a variation of "Islamists" and "Moslems" on:
- Interviewer: Mr. McCain, who is to blame for the real-estate crises?
McCain: Sir, it is the extremist moors. A couple of my friends who were ex-officers on the Iraqi intelligence committee have personally informed me that Al-Qaida of Oman was pumping billions into speculative land deals in Vegas and Miami. And when the prices went way up, they sold out and disrupted the system to destroy America's wealth.
- Interviewer: Mr. McCain, who is to blame for global warming?
McCain: Sir, there is no doubt that after failing to hurt us militarily, the radical extremist Talibanist shias hiding in the frontier region of Kashmir have moved their attention to the climate. My sources tell me that they have increased their holdings of big cows and cattle ten-fold, and are deliberately not slaughtering them for food. As you know sir, there is no bigger source of global warming gases, than those fat cow farts.
- Interviewer: Mr. McCain, who is to blame for high gas prices?
McCain: Sir, I truly believe that my years as a POW in Vietnam taught me many lessons. The enemy is always the same, no matter what facade he takes on. So, there is only one entity responsible for high gas prices, the Muslim radical extremist Islamics. Look at Saudi. The Wahabi mullas are giving free SUVs to all the followers, and they are giving gas vouchers to increase consumption. On the supply side, Mullah Chavez is restricting oil from Venezuela. I also know for a fact that Al-Qaida of Oman have moved their money from real-estate to speculative oil trading.
- Interviewer: Mr. McCain, who is to blame for your wife's past drug-addiction?
McCain: Sir, my wife loves this country, almost as much as I do, and far more than Michelle Obama. She started having premonitions of an attack by savage Islamofascists in the late 80s on this country. She couldn't take the pain of those nightmares, and unfortunately took to pain-killers. How can you blame this all-American blonde wife of mine, especially when your alternative is... I mean... any way what was your next question?
Feel free to add yours, but make sure there is some logic to your claim, even if it is clearly perverted, maniacal, wild or plain loony.